Shouting from the Hop

I had a dream the other night. It wasn't a very nice dream. It was to do with Charlton - my club; our club. It was to do with the jealousy that other clubs and their supporters feel toward our good start to the season. It was a negative dream. It was about how other teams may do anything they can (off the pitch) to stop our club achieving a high league position, not only now, early on the season, but ultimately a high finishing position at the end of this season. My dream knew that Charlton had been "suckered" by Premiership clubs in the past - Stamford Beach, Parker, Samuel, Defoe...you know those stories.

My dream was tied in with some factual news; the clubs shirt sponsor all:sports went into administration on Monday, owing Charlton £650,000, and Barclays Bank over £10m. My dream allowed Charlton to be rocked by the news that Premiership rules concerning administration meant the deduction of ten league points, dropping the club down from 2nd overnight to 15th place in the Premiership table.

My dream went on that their was a Premiership Charter (there may well be something similar that clubs sign up to when they are promoted into the top league these days?) and the dream quoted Rule 14.3 Clause 17 of this charter; a new clause, completely made up in my dream, apparently brought in just over a year ago and signed by all the clubs, which in my dream clearly stated that "should a Premiership member, club, part of the club, or major sponsor...be subject to a complaint being brought (by another member club or the Premier League itself), and upheld by the Premier League Finance Committee...be placed into formal administration (as acknowledged in the Financial Services Act 1995), then that member club shall be deemed to have broken its terms of contract with the Premier League, and shall suffer, subject to appeal, a ten point deduction at the end of the playing season, and shall therefore be deemed to have finished that playing season in a position relevant to having ten less points. All financial, and cause and effect matters arising (i.e. qualification for European places, Carling Cup, or relegation, etc) will be based on the new finishing position".

All of this was made up in my dream; I don't know if there is a charter. I don't know if there is a relevant clause about administration (although I guess there must be). I don't know if there is a Premiership Finance Committee. I don't know if there is a Financial Services Act 1995! All of this was made up in my dream, but imagine if it were true? Imagine the horror!

What isn't made up is that there is a clause in the English football rule books (both Premiership and League) to stop clubs using administration as a way of off-setting large debts, as Ipswich, Leeds, Leicester and other former Premiership clubs have in the recent past. It was initially used in the Football Leagues (Championship, plus Divisions one and two) in 2003/4, and entered into the Premiership rulebook a year later.

Wrexham are the only Football League club to have been charged under this rule in the past (by the League), but it did not affect them substantially, in that they did not get relegated as a result of their ten-point deduction last season. In my dream, however, the clause was "too loose", in need of clarifying, and the wording and interpretation needed "tidying up", due to the current wording being "open to abuse from other, jealous, members."

In my dream, with all:sports, as a major sponsor of Charlton, going into administration, it meant that the rule could be invoked. My dream portrayed that an action was brought by "...three or four clubs from the north-west and/or north-east". My dream speculated that it could have been any one or some of the clubs that had not started the season as well as they would have liked; those that saw Charlton as a small club who should always finish a season below them; those that seemed to think it their right to finish near the top of the league every season (whatever their results), and therefore get into European competition each year. Those teams, in my dream, may have been Liverpool, Manchester United, Everton, Manchester City, Newcastle, and Middlesboro, and such like, any of 18 teams below Charlton at present in fact, teams whose fans are jealous of Charlton's start to this season.

In my dream, Charlton's Managing Director, Peter Varney, was making a statement; he was understandably upset, but said that the club would appeal against the ruling.

When news of all:sports going into administration broke on Monday, Varney was quoted on the official Charlton website as saying "Behind the scenes, we have been working hard to try and protect Charlton's interests in this matter. Now an administrator has been appointed, I will be making contact with them to try and establish the exact position of the company, and how this is likely to affect the club going forward. Once I am in possession of more facts and information, I will hopefully be able to make a further statement." This fitted in with my dream; Varney would be carrying the baton into battle with the Premiership "big" boys once more.

In my dream, Alan Curbishley, the Charlton manager, was contacted and told Sky Sports News "If this is true, I'm flabbergasted. I would be gutted...but nothing in football surprises me that much anymore."

Nothing in football is surprising these days, except maybe Charlton's start to the season.

To finish my story: All the above events seemed real in my dream, so when I woke up I did what I normally do most mornings and went online, checked out the Forever Charlton website, and there it was in a link, in black and white (red and white really); "all:sports dive brings another penalty! Charlton were today rocked by the news that they had been deducted etc etc etc". I knew it was a dream - why on earth would there be a rule concerning administration matters of a club sponsor? It had to be made up; couldn't be true; absolutely ridiculous; load of bull; complete poppycock. I was sure that others would read it and know it wasn't true too. Satirical yes, but true, not on your nelly! But some readers did believe it. Some who read got upset. Some actually thought that other teams could be so jealous that they would actually invoke some made up clause to punish little ol' Charlton, upstarts from South East London. You know how it is in dreams, when they go bad, you tend to wake up...I woke up. I had to delete the story from my website. It was a dream that could never happen for some people, but a nightmare come true for others, including me.

Sometimes dreams do come true; in Charlton's case, the dreams we had fifteen years ago have been surpassed as we stare in awe at our magnificent all-seater stadium, our position in the Premiership league table, the admiration which is given to our manager and board of directors. I hope more of my dreams for Charlton come true, but not the one I had the other night, please.

Danny Baker

Dan is probably the most famous person to come out of the NME stable from the post-1977 era; He's also the second funniest person I've ever met.

Danny worked on his own Punk fanzine - Sniffin' Glue - prior to getting the NME receptionist job. This job was always given to potential new writers so that they could get their feet under the desk, but also give other staff a chance to get used to them and the Editor a chance to see if they could write on a regular basis as well.

Dan started at Carnaby Street in late 1978, and quickly made his mark in and around the office. A keen footballer, and football fan, we didn't always get on due to his love of Millwall and mine of close rivals Charlton.

We did get to play a few games together, against some good opposition in terms of popularity, and I remember particularly a date we had to play against Madness. As usual, we got a side of eleven together fairly easily, but our ranks were swelled by a few of Danny's mates, whom he had promised a game. When people like Dan organized matches and/or opposition, it was tough to get him to leave team selection up to the usual people, and Danny was always promising his mates a game here and there. On this occasion, I think we may have had 12 - 14 of us all ready and changed waiting for Madness to arrive at the West London ground (over Chiswick way I think?). The kick off time
(probably 6pm) came and went, with no sign of an opposition. We therefore arranged our kick about into something a little more organized, dragging a few local lads in to make up numbers. After about an hour, we were all getting a little tired, having played short sided on a full size pitch. Then, from across the park, a motley crew, and I mean crew, came into view wearing Doc Martens Cherry Red footwear mainly, and promptly announced themselves as ready for action. Quite what Madness had in mind, we will never know for sure, but with the boots, attitude, arrogance, swearing and body language, it didn't seem to be a friendly football match.

Danny promptly blew full time in our make shift game, spoke to Suggs and the boys briefly then announced that we (NME) were all off down the pub, without Madness. Everyone promptly got the message, grabbed their gear and off we trudged. The jibes and swearing as we walked away was pretty bad, and a few of Dan's mates wanted to go back and partake in what Madness obviously thought was going to be the evening's entertainment. Dan was never a hoolie though, and he kept on heading for the pub, as we all did eventually.

Later, I played fairly regularly against a couple of the Madness guys (Bedders, and Chrissy, though not Suggsy), and they were always very polite and nice.

On other occasions, we played The Jam - I'll mention that match under the Gary Crowley section - plus Motorhead, Style Council, and half of Wham!

Danny met his first wife in unusual circumstances, and the parting of their ways was also weird. Dan was on tour with the band Darts, who were well known for their loud behaviour. I'm not sure why, but most of the band plus the journo's who were on tour with them (including Dan and his soon-to-be, who worked for another music magazine) upset someone and found themselves chucked into jail for the night. The police decided to let them cool down and sober up overnight before releasing them all without charge. A cosy night in the cell obviously worked for Dan and his new female friend, and they got married fairly soon afterwards. Of course, these romances never last, and she left their Deptford flat one day, a couple of years later, never to return. She did take with her half of their belongings; the bad news for Dan was that she, literally, took every other one of their records, CDs, and (and worst of all) videos, thereby ruining Dan's complete collection of Bilko episodes, Laurel and Hardy films and such like!

Dan eventually got together with the editor's secretary - Wendy - who was a long standing friend of mine, and previously worked as the NME Ad Managers secretary. Wendy got married to her long time boyfriend and first love, but had a few flings along the way - Mark Woon, Adrian Thrills to name but two - which eventually led to divorce. Once free, she and Dan went out a few times in a bit of a whirlwind romance, and next thing she was pregnant. Unfortunately, Wendy suffered a miscarriage, and got a bit depressed as a result. During her next pregnancy, she did not work very much (understandably) in case anything similar may happen, and we lost touch after her first baby - Sonny - was born. Daughter Bonnie followed a couple of years later.

I'll write a little more about Wendy under her own section at a later time.

Danny is currently radio DJ of the Year, and was last to be found on BBC Radio London 94.9 FM before jumping ship to write a film script. Now that could be good...

Ian Pye

Ian took over from Neil Spencer as editor, in about 1986, in quite controversial circumstances. He was married to Jo Isotta, who was Production Editor at that time, and a lot of people had the impression that Jo helped him out during the interview stage, so that he got the job. He also came from Melody Maker, so a lot of the incumbent staff therefore didn't like him, and he didn't go out of his way to make friends either...Penny Reel, in particular, didn't like him at all! I don't recall if he or Jo left first, but he didn't last long, and was a poor choice for editor.

Phil McNeil

What a nice man! I really liked Phil and never saw him angry or upset, even though he took a huge amount of stress and pressure off the editors. As Deputy Editor, Phil was always at the printers/typesetters with us, and he usually had to stay until all the pages had been signed off. He was in charge of the editorial staff while at the printers really, as Neil Spencer didn't always go along. In the early days at Kettering, when things ran quite smoothly, we'd get away soon after 5pm, but later on, when it all went pretty pear shaped, you'd be lucky to get away much before ten, and we even had to stay overnight on occasion.

Phil was a keen member of our card school on the trains to and from Kettering - we played contract whist mainly - and he would win a large percentage of games. He was also a member of the famous Bedford incident, which I'll write about on here one day soon.

Phil once gave me his press pass so I could get into a Jam gig at The Music Machine in Camden, which was very nice of him.

Ian Penman

Lon Pin Moon; don't ask me why, but that was his nickname at one time! Little Ian always seemed to fall in the shadow (literally) of the more famous Paul Morley. They both joined NME as freelance writers around the same time (1980); they both wrote long, long, articles (being paid by the published word...) with lots of long words within, and seemed quite pretentious.

Ian always seemed to have a cold, though the red nose may have been for another reason?

This is how Wikipedia describes him -

"Ian Penman was the NME's resident intellectual provocateur in the early 1980s. He was never as interested in music as his postmodernist rival, Paul Morley, which makes his clippings at the same time more infuriating and less dated.

Like Morley, he was Wildean and superficial, enamoured of the process of writing for a music paper more than anything else. His elaborate syntax and stultifyingly self-centred prose were, with hindsight, the perfect critic's counterpoint and mirror to the New Romantic wave.

Penman was the true test of NME fidelity, to be contrasted with the earnest "muso" preoccupations of the Melody Maker and the proletarian philistinism of Sounds."

A little man, he may have had a chance in a fight with lookalike Jimmy Somerville!

If you could get him on a one-to-one, he was an OK guy, but he definitely played up when other staff were around, and eventually got too big for his boots and disappeared from view.

That's all for today...more to follow soon.

Pedro45 spent a huge part of his years, his second "life", working at New Musical Express, at the time, the World's biggest selling music newspaper. Nick Hornby actually wrote in Hi-Fidelity that his all-time favourite job would have been to work at NME during 1977;; well, I was lucky enough to have fulfilled that criteria, and I stayed for fourteen years.

I wanted to try to write down some of the many, many, things that happened during that time, and I guess that this blog is as good a site as any to store my memories.

My initial post will be in the form of pen pics for a large number of the NME staff that I worked with. Some are quite famous (or infamous!) now - Danny Baker, Tony Parsons, Julie Burchill, Gary Crowley - and some should have been! I'll try to remember and record, through the drunken haze, what went on, some funny events, who did what, etc etc, so that it all makes a bit of sense.

First, let's get this clear - I was not a staff writer on NME. My job was to work in Advertisement Production, obtaining advert copy from clients/agencies, forwarding it to our printers or typesetters, checking the copy once it had been typeset or originated, then passing the pages for press at the printer/typesetter. I did this job with two other staff, and from 1980 onwards I was the manager of this function.
In 1977, when I joined NME, our advertisement offices were in Kings Reach Tower, an office block in London on the South Bank of the River Thames between Waterloo and Blackfriars Bridges. In 1984, we moved offices to Commonwealth House, at the Holborn end of New Oxford Street, then we went back to Kings Reach in 1988. The editorial offices of NME were in Carnaby Street until 1986, when they joined us in Commonwealth House, and then onwards to Kings Reach in 1988.

The make up (dummy, or flat plan, or imposition) was also my responsibility, and I had to check this twice a week at the editorial offices, so that adverts appeared in their paid-for positions, in conjunction with editorial requirements (fitting article length etc). Hence, I spent a fair amount of time with the editorial guys. I would usually try to time things so I could fit in a beery lunch or evening with editorial friends after I'd checked the dummy.

We also spent a fair amount of travelling time together up until 1983, as our printer was in Kettering, Northants. The three ad guys, plus anywhere between five and ten editorial writers would get up early each Tuesday, and we would usually catch the 8am train from St Pancras, meeting up in the buffet before jumping on the train just a few minutes before departure. The hour plus journey was enlivened by conversations, card games, snoring, jokes, and the reading of newspapers. Lunchtimes tended to be spent in one of Kettering's pubs, and return journeys, once the issue was completely passed for press, took place on one of the trains between 5pm and 10pm, depending how things had gone that day and how many beers we fancied.

Unlike many of the editorial guys, I did not get hordes of free records given to me by the record companies. My benefits came from dealing with promoters when placing their adverts; a quick "can I come along to that gig" was usually enough to get me and a few friends in to see bands (for free), so I was very lucky in that instance to see some fabulous bands in the late 70's and 80's.

I'll get back to writing some of the pen pics now, and I'll post them up here over the next few weeks. Enjoy!

I haven't had a good rant on here for a while, but there's one coming now!

Through the letterbox this morning came, along with the usual bills, etc, a circular from one of the major banks. They think I should open a new account with them, their new "Bank Account Plus", as it has "GB£600 + of benefits".

Let's take a closer look at the benefits shall we?

1. GB£100 Mortgage cashback: So, I presume to get this you need to open or have a mortgage with the same bank? Oh, and it may cost you more than this to change from your existing bank/building society mortgage, but they don't say this. Actual benefit = GB£Zero!

2. GB£10 Overdraft offer: Not sure what this is, but I guess they are claiming that they won't charge you if you have an overdraft on this new account? I am lucky, but I don't have an overdraft, but I know of accounts where you can have as much as GB£500 overdrafts for nothing, so actual benefit = GB£Zero!

3. GB£15 Savings offer: apparently this is an "indicative amount" and "assumes a Cash Mini ISA balance of GB£10k"!!! So to save a tenner, you need a ten grand ISA through this bank too. Wow. Actual benefit = GB£Zero!

4. GB£6.75 global ATM Access: This sounds good...I hate getting charged for withdrawing cash overseas. Actual benefit = GB£6.75.

5. GB£180 Comprehensive Worldwide Travel Insurance: I have a similar policy now and it costs just over GB£100. I don't therefore need another. Actual benefit = GB£Zero!

6. GB£87.50 Hotel discounts: these deals make me laugh! This is based on one family staying one night at Comfort Inn, Notting Hill, London. Why, when I live in London, would I want to stay in an expensive hotel in the middle on nowhere? Actual benefit = GB£Zero!

There's six more reasons - Identity theft assistance (GB£30 saving claimed), cheaper McAfee security software (GB£15), GB£30 cashback if you take a BT broadband connection, discounts on shopping (GB£30) and restaurants (GB£62.50), and also you can save GB£49 on a Thrilling Life experience offer if booked with Yippee-Experiences.com. Amazing; actual benefit = GB£Zero!

To actually get the benefit they say, you need to have a mortgage, a cash ISA, and an overdraft with this bank, travel overseas and make withdrawals from your account regularly (tough when you have an overdraft), zip around a track in a Ferrari, stay at Notting Hill hotels, eat in named restaurants, buy security software just in case bugs climb down your new Broadband line, and shop till you drop...

This sort of crap marketing makes me sick. I don't actually believe that anyone would take out a bank account based on getting any of the above. Would you? You would? Then OK, it gets better!

Would you pay for that priviledge? No? So the GB£12.95 a month they want to charge you (OK, only GB£9.95 for the first three months) isn't going to make you change yor mind is it! NO!!!

GROW UP MARKETEERS! We may be stoopid some of the time, but you cant' expect us to fall for this one! Local you may be, but you are daft too!

I bought the new Echo and the Bunnymen album today - Siberia. I haven't played it yet, but reviews I've read say it is good.

I've also been bought a couple of recent Morrissey albums - the "Live at Earls Court" (2005), and "You are the Quarry" (2004) ones, so I have a fair bit of listening to do over the next few days!

Pedro45 is a bit of a sucker when it comes to playing games on the PC, and I found this little online devil that is very funny and fabulously addictive -

http://www.onemorelevel.com/games/avoider.html

I've just played it for five minutes (any more and I wouldn't get anything done for the rest of the day!) and got up to 438...I'm sure you can do better (a challenge?)! Just keep your mouse pointer away from the little man and his "toys".

Let me know your high scores...

New York Addict has posted a long discussion thread titled "Football is in decline" (link in title above), and Pedro45 has responded with (quite a long) comment as comparisons between football (failure) and cricket (success) are made. Please feel free to check out this excellent blog/post and to respond with comments either here or on NYA's blog.

Hi

I've decided that it would be for the best if all things Charlton that I write were on their own blogsite. Therefore, after today. if you want to read what I write about the greatest team in the world, go to

http://charltonathleticonline.blogspot.com
or
http://www.charltonathleticonline.co.uk

Cheers.

Pedro45

It seems that the whole country is celebrating England's Ashes victory! The Queen sent a message of congratulations to the team; A triumphant victory parade is to take place at lunchtime today in Trafalgar Square; the whole squad have been invited to Downing Street to meet the Prime Minister later this afternoon. Hundreds of column inches have been written, hundreds of minutes spent on the radio and TV talking about the great series win.

Every English (and/or British) person seems to know (and have an opinion) about the heroes who have brought the little Urn back to our shores (or at least made sure that it didn't have to go back down under with the Aussies this time...).

Am I jealous that everyone seems to have jumped on the cricket bandwagon? No, not really. I've been a cricket fan all my life. I would like to think that I know more about cricket than the vast majority of the population of this country. I played the game, albeit at a modest, club, level for many, many years. I have played the game in several countries (Australia, Sri Lanka, Barbados, Antigua, Grenada). I have umpired matches in South Africa (where I famously gave ex-England football manager Graham Taylor out! Did he not like that...!) and Australia. I have been on tour with England nine times - to Australia, New Zealand, Sri Lanka, South Africa and the West Indies - and watched them play test cricket at 18 different stadia. I have seen England play in a World Cup final (and they should have won...). I have spent time in the bar and gym with England cricketers, chewing the fat, celebrating famous wins, hoping for better times, consoling the injured or dejected. I am on first name terms with an ex-England captain and with one of Englands greatest ever spinners. I got drunk with Sir Garfield Sobers in his room the night that Brian Lara took away his World record test runs score. I've bought Greg Chappell a drink, and had him buy me one in return. I've chatted to a less than sober Mark Waugh about his thoughts on Devon Malcolm the night before a test match. I've helped both Nassar Hussein's wife and Adam Gilchrist's wife with their children prams when they needed it. I've stood in lifts, and hotel lobbies, and had breakfast with more famous cricketers than I can remember. I've had a lovely life talking about, playing and watching cricket.

And now everyone is doing it!

I think it's funny that some people think we won the game at The Oval yesterday. I think it good that more people on the streets of London will recognise the faces of the England players this week than they could last week (a survey conducted showed that less than ten percent recognised any of the players and only one percent recognised more than four!).

I think it wonderful that so many "celebrities" were present at the Oval for this test match, especially as at least one of them hadn't been seen at a test match before - stand up Kelly Holmes, Hugh Grant, Stephen Fry, John Major, Jeffrey Archer, and Trevor MacDonald. Oh and Hi to friends Chris and Carol, and Glenys who I saw on TV in the crowd on Saturday! Oh, and "yaboo sucks" to Simon Chapman, an Aussie ex-colleague who thought the Ashes were coming back to Australia right up till Monday morning.

The Barmy Army - Atherton's Barmy Army as they were when fans first took up the chant and logo in 1994/5 - are now revered as a crucial element of the make up of an English test match crowd, at home (except at Lords) and abroad. The original joke being that you had to be barmy to follow England overseas way back in the early nineties!

I think it's great that the England cricket team will have a parade in Trafalgar Square today in honour of their achievements, as the England rugby team did when the won the World Cup a couple of years ago, and as the Olympic champions did on their return from Athens last year.

This has been a great victory, suitably recognised. I don't care who jumps on the cricket bandwagon today, this week, next month, during the Winter tours to Pakistan and India, or anytime.

But just give a thought to people like me and some of my friends - Alan Bain, Karen Jones, Mike and Carol Jones, Geoff Redding, Laura Shaw, Richard and Yvonne Shaw, Tia Watt-Roy, Paul Burchett, Jeff Lewis and lots more - who have been following England to test and one-day matches around the world for most of the last fifteen years or so, through some good times, but mostly bad, and then cheer, because that's what we've all been doing these last few weeks!

England clung on for a draw today in the final test match, and take the series 2-1, thus reclaiming the Ashes after 18 long years.
It was great stuff, on a par with the majority of the rest in this series, as England slumped to 128-5 before lunch. Then KP finally showed his worth, surviving three dropped catches, to score 158. He hit seven sixes, the most ever by an Englishman in an Ashes match. Ashley Giles, the King of Spain, provided solid support and hit his best test score too (59). Warne took another six wicket haul. Fittingly in this weather dominated match, bad light brought an end to the game and the series, with the Aussie batters not knowing if they should stay on (and try for 19 an over for 15 overs!) or come off.

The celebrations were immense, and I admit to having a tear in the eye when the bails were finally removed. I was also very proud of the boys.

Here's a quick run down on how I thought the boys did this series:

Trescothick - Solid, without quite being spectacular. A good series. Confident, and experienced now. Others look up to him.
Strauss - Two good tons, but a few low scores too. Learnt hugely from this series, and should still get better. Caught well mainly.
Vaughan - Good leadership, and some interesting field placings (could have been Fletcher's ideas though). One great ton, but flattered to deceive during most innings.
Bell - Not good enough yet. Nervous. Will go to Pakistan but under a little pressure now to get more runs consistently. Fielded OK.

Pieterson - Can't catch but who cares. Most runs of anyone on either side, in his debut series. A great team member, he needs to look like it on the field sometimes.

Flintoff - Magic man. Bowled brilliantly (got Gilchrist out time after time), fielded well, and batted sensibly most of the time. Freddie is the king and man of the series. First player to get 300 runs and twenty wickets in an Ashes series since Botham.
Jones G - Batted and kept well sometimes. Batted terribly and dropped dollies sometimes. Needs consistency or he'll be under even more pressure.
Collingwood - Fielded great. Batted sensibly without reward in his one test at The Oval. A good twelth man.
Giles - Bowled well mostly, without many wickets, and batting got better over the series. Ended on a high with the winning runs at Trent Bridge and 50 to save the match at Oval. The King of Spain (sic)!
Hoggard - Key member of side but under-valued. If anyone can swing it, Hoggie can. Took vital wickets at key times throughout the series.
Harmison - Good start but seemed to get a little tired as the series wore on. Aussies definitely scared of him and Ponting has the scar to show (the only thing he will be taking back down under with him!).
Jones S - Great back up bowling, with big hauls of wickets when the ball reverse swung. Great heart. Missed The Oval match but cheered the lads on throughout.

The Pakistan squad will be picked next week, and all the above will go plus a back up keeper (got to be Chris Read), another batter (Key?), quick bowler (Tremlett?), and spinner (Panesar?).

The consensus is that this has been the best test series ever, between anyone. Close matches, tight finishes, great batting, bowling and fielding. Blood spilt, friendships maintained. Both sides played very hard, and smiled when they needed to. I doubt we'll see this good a summers cricket again for a long long time, if ever.

Oh, and bye Richie! Thanks for all the great commentaries you have given us in the UK!

England have a maximum of 98 overs left to play before they can reclaim the Ashes.
Australia have just 98 overs left to win before they can maintain hold of the Ashes.
Both statements are true, but which team will be celebrating later this evening?

With 98 overs play guaranteed on the final day of this most amazing of series, we could see either team win, or a drawn or tied test match. The likelihood of an England win or a tie are very poor, but England won't mind if they can drag a draw out of this test and take the series which they lead 2-1. To do that, the batsmen have to come good one final time; someone needs to make the best part of a hundred, preferably one of the two batters currently in - Trescothick or skipper Vaughan (pictured working out the options with Freddie). Bell, next in, is on a pair, and Pieterson is a little out of touch though the scene for him enhance his reputation and to bat big runs and take the game away for Australia is set. Freddie could also weigh in with key runs, as could Collingwood and Jones. But if the Aussies get on a role, it could all go pear-shaped pretty quickly.

For Australia, Warne and McGrath are key. They will no doubt bowl long spells each, and England surviving the first battles with each will be key to the day. Lee will bowl fast and young Tait will also be needed to bowl when the ball is older (hoping for reverse swing). Catch taking will be crucial, and the attacking fields Ponting has to set could mean runs are available. Basically, Australia need to get the final nine wickets by tea, or they can wave goodbye to a champagne welcome back down under.

This whole series has been nip and tuck, swinging one way then the other. This test match has been like that too, with the Aussies looking good, then getting pegged back by Flintoff and Hoggard yesterday before the weather came good for England. It could well be that we have a situation whereby Australia need to score very quick runs in not many overs to win, and they could lose quick wickets in the chase; this would be Englands only chance of winning in my opinion.

The whole of this country is hoping England can bat out the day and hang on for a draw today. The weather, very damp and cloudy at the moment, is due to get better as the day wears on, and all 98 overs are expected to be bowled if needed. I just hope that around 6pm Vaughan and Ponting shake hands and walk off, and it's the English captain wearing the huge smile with the crowds cheers ringing in his ears.

I've still got a headache, a result of drinking lots of beer at our friends wedding reception last night. It's been a good couple of days...

Charlton won 1-0 (as I predicted!!!) at Birmingham to go second in the Premiership, Darren Bent scoring as he has in every game so far this season.

England have a great chance to win the Ashes, reversing the chances of last night by bowling the Aussies out for 367 (a deficit of 6 runs) before taking the various offers of bad light. Australia therefore need to take 9 English wickets, before knocking off the required runs tomorrow if they want to square the series and retain the Ashes. The weather forecast is good, so we should get a full days play. If England can bat until around 3pm they should be safe, but Warne may have other ideas... I'll be watching TV from the sofa all day and hopefully celebrating in the evening!

The weddding we went to was lovely (it was the first time I'd heard a vicar mention cross-dressing in a marraige ceremony!), and the reception good. We met a couple of very nice people - Charlie who chatted to us about Nikon cameras for a long while, and George, a lovely old man, who was great fun and took (I think) a shine to my girlfriend! We staggered home about midnight...

Four years ago, I was on a short break in Spain with my girlfriend. We were staying in Madrid, as we had done several times before, and as usual, we took day trips out of the city every other day. On this particular day, we decided to go (back) to Toledo, a couple of hours train journey out of Madrid. Toledo is a lovely old fortified city, built high on cliffs and surrounded on three sides by a river. It would have been a formidable city to invade and conquer in years gone by.

We had been to Toledo before, travelling down from Madrid by train (from Atocha...),and had a wonderful day out, but on this occasion the hot weather and general tiredness prevented us enjoying things too much. We walked around, had lunch, took in some sights, and eventually made a decision to catch the early (4pm) train back to Madrid.

There was time, however, for a last beer or two in a bar near the town centre. We got our drinks and stood by the bar watching the TV. It was showing the Tour of Spain cycle race, second only to the Tour De France in prestige amongst European cycling events I believe. The staff and clientele were quite interested in the event, as Spain has some good cyclists, and one was high up amongst the leaders of the race.

At 3pm, the race cut away to the national news (presumably shown on each hour), and we started to see live pictures of New York. I recognised the twin towers of the World Trade Centre, and could see the smoke pouring out of the top floors of one of the towers. I mentioned to my girlfriend that it was on fire; she continued to read her book and sip her beer. We watched some more but could not understand the fast-talking Spanish commentary even though my girlfriend speaks reasonably good Spanish. It was obvious that something big was happening, but we just couldn't understand what in detail... We asked a barmen what was being reported, and one word he said that even I could make out was "kamikazi". A plane had, presumably, crashed into one of the towers.

I told my girlfriend about a plane that was (I think) deliberately flown into the Empire State Building in New York way back in the thirties; I remembered seeing photos of it's tail sticking out of the building.

We continued to watch, drinking our beers, and my girlfriend went to the upstairs toilet. While she was there, I watched the TV in amazement as a plane crashed into a tower. I thought it fascinating that they had film of the event, then realised to my horror that the second tower was now on fire, and that it was another, different, plane that had crashed. She came downstairs and I told her what I'd witnessed. We continued to watch, trying to make out what the commentary was saying. We got some more beers, as we decided not to catch the train back to Madrid just yet.

I guess you all know the sequence of events that happened next in reality, but this was incredibly surreal for us; in a foreign (albeit European) land, not fully understanding what we were seeing or hearing. Eventually, the towers collapsed, one before the other. I saw the first come down on my way down the stairs from the loo. Sadly, we guessed how many people may have died - I gave a best guesstimate at 1,500, a worst at 10,000. I said that this day would go down as one of the most infamous in history, imprinting 11th September onto my brain.

We then saw captions about the Pentagon, and Pennsylvania flights which also crashed, plus film of smoke rising from the Pentagon. Some Americans (and Canadians I seem to remember) also came into the bar, and watched the TV for a while until it became too hard for them to take.

Finally, in a sense of bewilderment, we left and walked back to the station. On the train there were some other Americans trying to phone home to get news. We got back to our Madrid hotel and watched the TV news, showing more and more pictures of the planes hitting the towers from different angles in graphic detail. Neither of us had much appetite that night.

Four years later and Madrid's Atocha station, the train station we used on 9/11, and Tavistock Square in London (where my girlfriend works and I used to) have both been scenes of subsequent al-Queda linked terrorist attrocities, bomb attacks on innocent local people.

We will never forget what happened in the US on 11th September 2001, and the recent bombs in Madrid and London are stark reminders of how close we actually all are to the murderers at any one moment. Dates like 9/11, 9/3, and 7/7 will get into the history books, but the perpetrators will never be famous. And that's because they will never win.

Saturday morning and it's quite gloomy. We had a huge downpour of rain here last night at around 11.20, with many people getting a soaking on their way home from the pubs in Bromley.

This can only be good news for English cricket (The Oval is about seven miles from here) if they are to regain the Ashes. Many local weather reports this morning say it's raining here, dry there, etc in locales closer to The Oval than Bromley. The covers have been on, off, and back on again. It seems doubtful that play will start on time and/or a full first session will take place. I think the Aussie decision to take bad light may rebound on them...

The bad news is that the weather should get better as the day goes on and around four hours play are being forecast for today. I'll be out at the wedding of Steve and Angie from around 3.30 so will probably miss a large chunk. The other bad news is I have to get my haircut before the wedding, which is one of my all time pet hates...

The ugly news is that I found out who the ref for the Brum versus Charlton game today will be - Mr Mike Halsey. Regular readers will be aware that one of my ten predictions for this Premiership season is that Charlton will win a game where Mr Halsey (or Mr Poll) are in charge. Today is therefore the first chance to put a tick against one of my ten guesses, but I do not suggest you holding your breathe that it will come true (revised match prediction is now a 1-1 draw). Don't bet against a sending off for both sides though too...

The Aussies finished day two of the last test match 261 runs behind England's first innings score (373 all out) but with all their wickets still intact. The proceedinbgs were brought to an early close by the batsmen taking the umpires offer of bad light, which was followed an hour later by light rain.

With rain also forecast tomorrow, the decision to go off early may rebound on the Aussies if they cannot force the win they need to retain the Ashes.

Not much happened today really compared to previous test matches this summer; The last three English wickets went down as expected, with 50-odd runs added, then the openers batted sensibly and, in Langer's case, aggressivly in reply.

I have seen conflicting reports as to what the weather will be like tomorrow - some reports say wet early then drying, others dry early then rain later. It would seem that whoever is right that the likelyhood is for a shortened day (even taking into acocunt the availability of an extra half hour due to the rain delay today), and that can only benefit England.

The ECB report is here.

Charlton take their unbeaten Premiership record to St Andrews tomorrow, and will be hoping for another three points versus Birmingham City.

Alan Curbishley knew he would have problems picking a team when everyone was fit and available, and tomorrow is the first big test of the season in this respect.

The squad is almost back to full strength, with Gonzalo Sorondo, Jonathan Spector and Jay Boothroyd all available after suspension, injury, and transfer respectively. Talal El Karkouri, is also back from injury, and scored for Morocco in midweek.
The only players still not ready are Darren Ambrose, who serves the final match of his three-game ban, plus Jason Euell (shoulder), Dean Kiely (fractured finger) and Matt Holland (rib) who are injured.

So what will Curbs do? Will he change the defence that has only conceded one goal in three games? I doubt it. So Sorondo, Spector and El-Kakouri will all be vying for places on the bench.

The midfield, a great strength this season, will be unchanged, barring last minute international match injuries to Smertin (who was sent off playing for Russia) and Kishishev.

The wingers are not threatened, and the striker (Dazza) will also play following a couple of bench-warming exercises while on England duty.

This is my expected team for tomorrow then:
Andersen, Young, Perry, Hreidarsson, Powell, Rommedahl, Murphy, Kishishev, Smertin, Thomas, Bent.
Subs: Sorondo, Hughes, Bartlett, Karkouri, Myhre.

Can we go four out of four? Yes, I think we just might.

Pedro45's prediction is a 1-0 away win!

The bad news is I've got to be at a wedding (4 o/c) so will be hiding a radio in the suit pocket in order to pick up the final football (and cricket) scores as soon as I can.

Club preview link here.

Day one over of the last Ashes test match, and the Aussies are on top. England finished 318-7 thanks mainly to Andy's Strauss (who hit 125) and Flintoff (72).

The pitch was good and I was grateful to see Vaughan win the toss and bat. After a good start however, wickets started to fall - Warne taking the first four - from 82-0 to 131-4, and things didn't look good for the home side. The recovery was good though, and the score doubled, before Strauss luckily survived an edge behind. Flintoff was then caught in the slips, Collingwood trapped leg before, and Strauss succombed (as he usually does) to tiredness.

Hopefully Jones and Giles can add a few tomorrow, and get the score near to 400 (par for this pitch).

The weather forecast is good for most of tomorrow, and also may be dry over the weekend. A result looks very likely therefore after close of play on day one.

Unless England increase their score, they could be chasing leather over the very fast outfield for most of the next couple of days. That would then leave the Aussies with a couple of days to bowl England out to win, whether they needed to bat a last time or not. I think this the most likely scenario unfortunately.

I hpope though that the English bowlers have watched the play, and will see how and where to bowl on this pitch. Reverse swing was very evident, but our best protagonist is injured and not playing. Maybe Freddie will become even more of a hero?

It is 18 years since England last won an Ashes cricket series, and today, in about an hour, they go into the fifth test with every chance of once more re-claiming the urn.

The hype is unbelievable - newspapers, radio, TV, are all full of it. Everyone is an expert it seems, or has a view. The bookies make England 3-1 outsiders to win this game. Simon Jones is out with an ankle injury and England therefore have to make their first personnel change of the whole series - Anderson (perceived positive move) or Collingwood (negative). The pressure to "not-lose" is intense. Glenn McGrath is fit for Australia. The Aussie batters are due to get runs in a test. Warney is taking wickets at an incredible pace. The pressure to "win" is intense.

Pressure has dominated this whole series: England could not maintain pressure after a great first day performance at Lords; England applied pressure at Edgbaston and held on to win; The Aussies coped (just about) with the pressure at Old Trafford; England struggled with the pressure at Trent Bridge but still prevailed. Who will handle it better today, and for the next few days? I don't have the answer, but in the spirit of my predictions on this site always being wrong, I'll go for the Aussies.

The toss will be crucial again (two-all in the series...), with England expected to bat if they win it. If Punter calls right (he always calls heads) will he bat, or put England in due to the fact he has to bowl us out twice? I reckon he'll chose to bat, and apply pressure through attacking fields and bowling later. Then it will be a case of seeing if England can cope. If England do bat first, whoever wins the toss, the hope is that they can bat Australia out of the game; the danger is they fail and are then chasing a large Aussie total in order to save the game - a scenario they will dread (and ultimately fail against).

That's it. A long summer of cricket is drawing to a close. This is the last match of the series. It could be a fantastic few days, or it could be that my newly grown little fingernail will be getting a good chewing once more!

Play!

Northern Ireland 1 England 0

Let's just clear a few things up first:

Shaun Wright-Philips - you were appalling!
Steven Gerrard - rubbish!
Frank Lampard - waste of space!
Michael Owen - did he really play?
Joe Cole - couldn't cross a road!
Jamie Carragher - useless!
Owen Hargreaves - you are crap!

The rest weren't very good either, though didn't quite fall into the league of the above. At least Beckham, Rooney, all the defence and goalie tried.

What Sven is doing trying to play a system (4-5-1) that clearly does not suit the players he has is amazing. Get back to the tried and trusted 4-4-2, especially when playing (sorry but it's true) second rate teams like Wales and Northern Ireland.

Get Beckham back on the right where his crosses cause damage. Tell Gerrard to sit, and Lampard to go forward. Tell Rooney to play a deep centre forward role. Tell Owen to wait for chances. Find a left-sided midfield player who can cross, run, and defend - he doesn't have to be a world-beater, just average, that will provide balance (Suggestions on a postcard please). Tell the full backs to get forward and cross the ball, not to try to pass it to Becks or anyone else every time in case they don't get it quite right.

Awful, really awful.

This team have a chance to (still) top their qualifying group, by winning their last two homes games. If they don't do that, then the calls for an English manager to replace Sven will get louder and louder until that eventually happens. This is the first qualifying match that Sven has lost, so are we over-reacting? No, the team were poor on Saturday and no better tonight. If we don't get it together then the English cricket team will continue to dominate the sports pages over next summer too! Even though there's a World Cup being played... And would that be such a bad thing?

Now you have to realise that Pedro45 is not a US citizen; he is not American! But I came across this link

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

and had to have a go...and I passed!!! And now I'm a yankee doodle dandy!!!

An Australian friend of mine who lives in DC actually gained US citizenship not that long ago. She qualified as her father was American, though her mother was Aussie and she was born Down Under. She had to be sworn in, and sit there while a local political preacher told her the values of the nation, and no doubt what the constitution actually means...blah blah! She says she almost fell asleep, but was nudged awake by the person sitting next to her.

So this got me thinking about what questions would be asked of "foreigners" who want to become British. Let me know if you can think of any other good questions that would be suited?

So how about this for a British citizenship test?

1. What year did William the Conquerer invade Britain?
2. Who was Britain's leader during the Second World War?
3. Which political party is currently in power? Clue - Tony Blair is the leader.
4. Where do Britons go to see the "illuminations"?
5. How many Charles's have been King of England?
6. What are "The Ashes"
7. Who wrote "MacBeth"?
8. Where can you stand with one foot in the East, and one foot in the West?
9. How many miles is it from Lands End to John o'Groats? (to the nearest 50)
10. Which football team won the English FA Cup in 1947?

I guess anyone can look up the answers on the Interweb thingy these days, but if you were asked to answer coming through immigration at Heathrow at 6am one morning, could you get most right?

A big Pedro45 kiss for the first person to answer all ten right (via comments).

It is exactly twenty years today since supporters were informed that Charlton Athletic would no longer be playing home matches at The Valley. On 8th September 1985, a sheet of paper was given to fans attending the local derby versus Crystal Palace, as they came through the turnstiles, telling them that Charlton home games would now be played at Selhurst Park. The above (official club) link explains the scenario very well.

The game against Palace was duly won, 3-1. It's a game also remembered for the fact that our Scottish left back (and eventual Player of the Season) Mark Reid took four penalties in the match. Two were scored and two were saved. The first went in; the second was saved by (Scot) George Wood, but the ref ordered it to be re-taken, and Reid scored from his third kick. The fourth (from the third penalty awarded) was saved. Amazing!

The win left a sort of numbness amongst supporters. We played Sheffield United away the midweek after the match, and I was at the Bramall Lane ground early for some reason. I was with a friend (who shall remain nameless), and as we sat there by the players entrance talking, up drove the then current Director Jimmy Hill. Jimmy was more famous as a TV pundit and the man who broke the wage barriers in the early sixties. He had been a director at Charlton (a conveniently overlooked fact these days) for about a year or so, since the Sunley Group had taken control of the club. I think they thought they needed a "football" man on the board and Jim was available. He certainly fitted the bill - I don't think anyone else had much idea of how to run a football club...Jim was also open to new ideas, and would try anything once I believe. Jimmy parked up, and got out of the car. We slowly made our way over toward him for a "chat". He was greeted by the words from my friend "You've really gone and f***ed it up now haven't you!" Mr Hill was not amused but knew exactly what was being refered to and briefly tried to explain the Boards decision to share Selhurst Park. He didn't do a good job though, and soon high-tailed it inside the ground out of earshot.

I kind-of always regretted the fact that my friend swore at Jim; we may have got more sense if we'd had a more controlled discussion but emotion is hard to contain sometimes. At least Jimmy knew that feelings amongst supporters was running high at that point, something I don't think any of the other Directors realised right up until we actually moved a couple of weeks later.

Since that fateful day twenty years ago, the fluctuating fortunes of Charlton have been very well documented. We returned to The Valley after seven long years, almost on our knees. We have since stood up, been counted, and are now in a very strong position.

We sit proudly in the Premiership, currently third and unbeaten, and play in a magnificent stadium. We have the second longest serving manager in the premiership, and third longest in the football league. We have two players in the full England squad this very week involved in World Cup qualifiers. We have a hole bunch of internationals from other countries away playing World Cup matches all over the globe.

Twenty years ago, we would have been locked up for thinking our club might look like this at some future stage. Dreams really do come true sometimes...

I haven't written anything about music on this site before, although it formed a huge part of my life way back in the 70's and 80's. That's a very long story though, so this is just a snippet.

My favourite band, even after all this time, are Echo and The Bunnymen. I don't purport to be their biggest fan, and I also think they have made some rubbish records over the years, but, consistently, they are a big influence on other bands, and I still love to listen to my favourite Bunnymen tracks.

Today, The Bunnymen release their new single "Stormy Weather", taken from the soon-to-be released "Siberia" album. I haven't heard it yet, but reports are that it's quite good...

The Bunnies are also trying to get people to vote for their excellent website in the BT Digital Music Awards category 'BT Music Website Of The Year'. Click on the pink button at the top of the Bunnies website (link on the right). Coldplay were last years winners apparently.

I first went to see the Bunnymen back in 1979, at the YMCA, just off Tottenham Court Road in London (many good bands played there at that time), and then at The Lyceum when they played the second 5-band Sunday gig with Psychedlic Furs, A Certain Ratio, U2, and Manicured Noise, the first featuring Stiff Records outfits Nick Lowe, Elvis Costello, Rachel Sweet, Larry Wallis, and someone else who's name escapes me (please put me out of my misery?).

I also saw Ian (above) when he visited the NME offices in Carnaby Street; I was sitting on the reception sofa and he walked in, towering over me, and looking down from under "that" fringe. He handed something in to the receptionist, who at that time was probably either Danny Baker (maybe too late), Gary Crowley (probably too early) or Julia "Spud" Murphy (most likely).

I used to deal with their PR firm quite a bit (a lovely lady called Jane I think), and just before the Crystal Day in Liverpool we worked together to get the Bunny Rabbit logo into NME Classified header style so that it could form part of an advert.

I also got sent copies of the first four Bunnies albums by their ad agency for doing a good job on their artwork one year.

I started to see them again when they first got back together again for reunion gigs about eight years ago (I think), and I've tried to see most of their London appearances since. Most of these have been at The Shepherds Bush Empire, but I did have tickets booked for the last one at the Bloomsbury Theatre (last November) but forgot all about it and failed to pick up my tickets!

Anyway, they are touring again this Autumn (in the US too), promoting Siberia, and I will definitely remember to go to see them on, er, what's the date???, yes, 1st November.

Spitfires Scramble (Pic: R. Harvey) 

We went to the Biggin Hill Airshow yesterday, where they were celebrating the Battle of Britain at "the most famous World War II RAF fighter station in existence".

When I was a boy, my father would regularly bring me to see planes at Biggin Hill; I seem to remember there being two shows - a regular "airshow" with many civilian aircraft, then the Battle of Britain one where the emphasis was on war planes. Of course, it was a lot nearer the end of the war when I was young, and some of the planes were not that old back then! Biggin Hill was where I had my first ever flight, a 25 minutes jaunt round Crystal Palace TV mast and back in a DC3 or similar (I think...), probably in about 1965 (give or take a couple of years). I also remember seeing the Lightning, the aircraft that spouted flames out of it's back and which was Britain's defence against the supposed red hordes back then, and also the long traffic queues to and from the show.

Yesterday was a little different; no traffic problems, even though there was a very large crowd, and no Lightnings (even though we eventually did have a thunder storm last night!).

What we did see were the usual Spitfires, Hurricanes, Hawker Hunters and Hawks, Gnats, a DC3 (Dakota), a Flying Fortress (Sally B), a Sea Vixen, Harriers, helicopters (including a Lynx doing back-flips!!!), plus newer all-purpose British (or Euro) fighters like the outgoing Jaguar, the incumbent Tornado, and the soon-to-be released Typhoon.

I love watching the new fighters, they make so much noise! The Typhoon was very impressive, but why do they seem to name planes after the weather and/or winds? What comes next? The Gale? The Breeze? The Gust? The Bit-blowy-today? Who knows...

It was a lovely day and no crashes which was good - last time I went to an airshow (at Lowestoft about three years back) a Harrier stalled and ended up in the sea!

Wales 0 England 1

England duly won their World Cup qualifier this afternoon at the Millennium Stadium, in front of a large but quiet Welsh crowd. Charlton's Luke Young started the match, but Darren Bent, who was among the substitutes, did not feature.

Young played as expected by the Charlton fans - as he does most weekends - playing it reasonably safe at all times, but I expect the media will say he is not good enough to wear the Three Lions shirt. In fact, Young's display was very much akin to those by Chris Powell a few years back - solid, unspectacular, without error. I'm sure that anyone who doesn't play for Chelsea, Arsenal, Man Utd or Liverpool will immediately be put under pressure by the media these days, and Young can expect that to happen, though I don't really know why? He has been consistent over the past year or two for Charlton, and with other more favoured players injured (Neville G, Terry) or not good enough (Johnson, Neville P) he was an obvious choice. He couldn't win really, being up against Ryan Giggs. If he played well (as he did) then that will undoubtedly be because it was a poor Wales team and Giggsy played inside; if he had had a bad game and Giggs had taken him apart (as the song goes...), it would be because he's not good enough. He has to play again on Wednesday (versus Northern Ireland) and that will only help his confidence; bringing Phil Neville into the team would be a backward move.

The 4-5-1 "experiment" didn't really work. I thought Wales so poor that two forwards would have destroyed them. As it was Wright-Phillips made and Joe Cole scored the goal, but neither looked convincing, with SWP shouted at to get wider (where he should have been) midway through the first half.

Rooney looked good and is such a class player; Becks saw lots of the ball but was very deep all day; Lamps and Gerrard looked disinterested; The defence didn't have too much against them and coped OK. Robinson made one very good save from the lumbering Hartson. Sven's favourites got sub appearances - Hargreaves, Richardson, and Defoe.

This England squad has great potential, but the pressure on them to go on and win something is immense. The whole country gets behind our boys (see cricket at the moment), especially when there is something at stake (World Cup, or Euro championship) but the media loves to knock our heroes, which I hate. We are nearly qualified for Germany 2006 - two wins will do it - so let's all get behind the lads over the next few months and stop knocking Sven and the boys.
Oh, and a mention of the National anthems. The boo-ing during God Save the Queen was atrocious, and if an English crowd had made that much noise then the calls for the birch, ASBO's, National Service, and the like for "so-called football fans" would have been huge. As it came from subjects of the Principality, I doubt it will raise a murmur. Double standards once more? You decide.

What chance against Katrina? Pic: R. Harvey 

A lot of bad things happen in this world of ours, and I'm not going to quantify or compare the Indian Ocean Tsunami with the current devastation around the Gulf of Mexico caused by Hurricane Katrina, but the situation in New Orleans is pretty grim by the look of it.

My girlfriend went to New Orleans last year for a conference; she stayed downtown, and visited the Conference Centre most days. This is one of the places that a whole bunch of local people are now holed up, waiting for food, water, clothing, and rescue.

I went to Nawlins (as the locals pronounce it) way back in 1991, for a few days R&R. I stayed in the French Quarter, which is now underwater like most of the city I believe, in a wonderful hotel. I'd flown in from Orlando, where I'd had over a week of Disney-like fun, and didn't really know what to expect. I got my bag at the airport, and was looking at the hotel board, trying to figure out where to stay. A sailor (yes, I know...) approached me and offered me a lift into town which I accepted (I was young and naive!) . We had a good chat actually; he said he was due to meet someone who hadn't showed up so may as well give me a lift. We drove round the French Quarter looking for this hotel whose name I knew, but couldn't find it. In the end, he dropped me on the corner of Bourbon and Royale Streets and I gave him some cash for his trouble - probably more than I expected and probably more than the cab may have cost, but he was fairly insistent and I didn't fancy arguing. At least he didn't drive off with my bag...

I walked into the hotel on that corner, and it looked quite nice, having formerly been the city Opera House. I asked for a room and was told how much it cost and if that was still OK? Of course it was - Gold Card at the ready! The fourth floor room looked out on Bourbon street, and the bed was the biggest I'd ever been in - you could lay on it, stretch out and still not touch any of the four sides!

I decided to visit the Superdome (another place survivors are currently waiting to be rescued from) and asked the concierge how to get there? He said " Get a cab". I said I wanted to walk as it didn't look far on the map (about a mile) and he repeated "Get a cab!". I left the hotel, turned right, no cabs so I started to walk. Within 100 yards of my exit I was approached by a local lad - maybe 15? - who started to talk, and said he could tell me "where I got my shoes". Naive move number two! How was he to know where I bought my shoes? He insisted that he could tell me - even the zip code - and foolishly I took the $10 bet. Straight away he told me the street name (Bourbon), the city (N.O.), state (Louisiana) and local zip code (who cares), as that was "where my shoes were at!" and therefore where I had "got" them at that moment. I paid up (I didn't think it wise not to) and he said he'd be my bodyguard for $100... I declined.

I walked on to the Superdome, remembering not to get into conversations with anyone I didn't know (ie nobody!) and took the tour. I tried to get a cab back, but failed, so returned on foot to the hotel. I crossed Canal Street around 5pm - rush-hour; looking around, I could see literally thousands of people, and I was the only white boy... I walked quicker.

That night I wandered Bourbon Street, taking in a few jazz bars. I had been approached to go into a steak restaurant (as in most tourist areas, you get touted to go in here, there, or everywhere), and returned later taking up the offer as it looked OK from the outside. It was incredibly dark inside, and I had trouble reading the menu. I was eating my food when a family came in - mom, dad, son and daughter. The daughter ordered and got a salad, and as I tucked into my main course she started on her salad. Within twenty seconds she squealed! Something had moved on her plate. She squealed again - it was a cockroach! The waiter came over, removed it with his fingers and said "they get everywhere these days...". I left pretty quick!

Next day, I took a swamp tour which was great fun. Driven over the Mississippi bridge you get to see alligators, turtles, Spanish moss, the bayou, and great big ants up close from a small boat! I then took the Natchez riverboat trip along the Mississippi that afternoon, which was OK, but you soon realise that the view (of other cargo ships, oil refineries, etc) isn't that good. That night I went to a very nice restaurant (I tried to find the one mentioned by Dennis Quaid in The Big Easy but couldn't) but, walking back, I saw the biggest cockroach I've ever seen anywhere! I noticed it about 50 yards ahead, on the pavement; I thought it was a large frog till I got close. It was around 4 or 5 inches long, and nearly as tall and wide! Yuk!

I flew out next morning, glad I'd been, but knowing that it would take a lot to get me back.

Now it seems that many of us will never get a chance to go, or go back, sadly, as it will undoubtedly take many years to get the city, and especially the French Quarter, back to a viable tourist destination again.

I thought it might be good to see on a monthly basis how my pre-season predictions are coming along. So on the First of September, let's take a look:-

1. Chelsea will go through the league season unbeaten. Yep, still unbeaten!
2. Chelsea will concede less goals in a season than anyone has done before (I think the record is 16 or 18 - someone let me know please?) Chelsea still haven't conceded (and they hold the record from last season - 15).
3. Graeme Sounness will become the first Premiership managerial casualty of the season - he might not get sacked, but with a dodgy ticker, he might need bed rest come October! May have saved his bacon by signing Owen, but no goals, and only one point so far means this could still be accurate.
4. El Hadj Diouf will spit at a fan...again! Not yet...
5. Charlton will win a game featuring Mark Halsey or Graham Poll as ref!!! Haven't had them yet - wait a few weeks...
6. Arsene Wenger will claim to have seen the reason one of his players got sent off. Not yet...
7. Rio will be boo-ed. Yep!
8. Rooney will swear at a ref and be sent off. Close, but not yet...just a matter of time!
9. Several England regulars will get long term injuries just after Xmas and will be forced to miss the World Cup. We are seeing a few niggles in the lead up to the qualifiers this week (Gerrard, Neville, Terry etc), so long term, still confident.
10. Rangers and Celtic will once more attempt to join the English league through the back door (Why don't they enter a team in the lower pyramid and work there way through a la AFC Wimbledon, Aldershot etc?). Always!

Let me know if you think any more will come true soon.